Justice for Jennifer

Hi, everyone! I’m sorry for being MIA for a bit. My computer crashed and I’m still trying to figure out what to do. So, I’m writing this blog during a little down time in the PINK office. I’m actually working on the Facebook group for PINK magazine because it’s in desperate need of updating. So, I’ve been at work on Facebook…and it’s okay!

Anyhow, one of the recurring themes in my life right now is one of justification. You know how God speaks in that still, small voice and when you’re in tune with him, you can hear it?!? I think he’s been speaking to me through showing me other people’s situations and stories to tell me that I will reap what I sow no matter what the situation may be. On Saturday, I opted to stay home from church and watch a sermon via internet. Craig Newborne, senior pastor at the Oakwood University SDA Church, preached a sermon on David and how his night of passion with Bathesheba led to years of turmoil in his family. That one sin came back to haunt him with a vengeance. David’s sin with Bathsheba impacted so many other family members and their decisions and it was CRAZY to see how everything unfolded. It was sad to see but ultimately, “you reap what you sow”.
On Sunday, I watched this movie called The Other Boelyn Girl. Great movie based on a true story of the Boelyn sisters and Henry VIII ( King of England). Basically, the decisions of one of the sisters jacked up the family. But, I dare say (if you’ve seen the movie) that the decisions of the father of the sisters COMPLETELY jacked up the family. We’re talking about reaping what you sow.
And then, to learn of the tragedy of Jennifer Hudson’s family. Apparently, all three murders (mother, brother, and nephew*nephew is pictured above*) have been traced to the estranged husband of Jennifer Hudson’s sister. When you look on paper, anyone could envy Hudson’s life. With one Oscar already under her belt from her DEBUT performance as an actress, two major movies (SATC and Secret Life of Bees) bringing in money, in addition to her CD ( *singing* “I don’t like ..whoo ooo… living under your spotlight”) coming out…and then she’s engaged …yeah..of course, someone’s gotta be a hater. But to go that far?!? It’s just not that deep. People always think they’re entitled to something when someone does well (that’s gotta stop).
But, I just feel like the murderer will pay. I still believe he has a chance to repent and be in heaven because God is a merciful God who loves all his children (there’s no degree to sin as to which sin is better than another in His eyes), but he’s going to feel the consequences of his actions whether it’s a slow, agonizing painful death or life in a jail in Libya….he’s gonna pay because you reap what you sow.
I think God has put this message on my heart because it’s encouragement (haha…go figure) to work hard and put my all into honest hard work so that I can reap rewarding benefits. The examples above were people that put their all into evil. Why put your all into hurting someone for personal gain? Good can never come from maliciously evil acts for the inflictor (maybe in some twisted way, but not for real). I want rewards from good hard work. I couldn’t kill someone and gain money from it and be happy or proud of that. I want rewards that I can be proud of. In addition to that, what God might see as rewarding benefits may not be what I may think or see as rewarding benefits however the Lord knows best and so I have to trust that and continue to work hard and honestly.
But please pray for Jennifer Hudson. I mean…honestly. Celebrity or not, no one deserves to go through so much pain. My heart truly hurts for her. So when you read this, just whisper a quick prayer of comfort and strength for her. She needs it right now more than ever.

Confessions ( no picture is needed...TRUST)

My blog entries will be pretty scarce over the next months. I made it all the way through undergrad without my computer crashing so I guess I was due for one, right?!? So, I have no laptop but I’m praying that the data on my hard drive can be restored due to a similar laptop I have back in MD. If you can install the hard drive into another computer like yours, sometimes, you can save your files. But, my laptop is a goner. I felt the need to explain that while at work because my editor is away at lunch so I have some downtime.

So, I hate putting myself out there but in this case, for some reason that I’m not quite sure of, I’ve felt compelled to do so. That’s part of the reason why I started the blog though: to put myself out there. Okay so (deep breath) here goes:

From the beginning of my senior year until now, I’ve experienced a tremendous amount of weight gain. In between that time, I’ve ballooned from a size 4 to a 12. It’s a lot to take in at once, I know. Thing is, I’ve been embarrassed to complain about it to people who are bigger than me in fear of making them feel bad and I’ve been embarrassed to complain about it to people smaller than me in fear of them making me feel bad every time I open my mouth to a cookie or chip…or the occasional sympathy “it’s not hard” stares. I’m running, watching what I eat and ultimately doing whatever it takes to lose the weight but for some reason, it’s not coming off. A few inches might but for the most part I still have that God-forsaken spare tire….muffin top….jiggle in the middle….what the heck, fat. Tonight, I’m supposed to be going to a Women For Obama party with a friend of mine. It’s supposed to be some fundraiser event and I don’t wanna go anymore. I feel like hiding in my pjs in bed. It’s ridiculous that it’s come to this but as I stood in the bathroom this morning trying so desperately to even give my reflection a little self-esteem boost, I watched my self-constructed confidence completely deteriorate. No tears. I couldn’t cry, but I just felt awful. I felt awful for any of the fat jokes I may have laughed at in the past or the disapproving stares I might have unconsciously given, or the empty compliments I may have given to strangers or friends struggling with obesity. Strange thing is that some people considered me to be skinny and some people consider me to be average and healthy. But, I’m actually statistically overweight/obese and need to make a life change. I think that God allowed this to happen so that I could understand the plight of others better and be sensitive to it. Weight is something that can be controlled but when it spirals out of control, it’s so difficult to regain control. For many people, it becomes a life long battle. I say all of this to say that I’m grateful for this experience because I feel that my eyes have been opened and I’ll be a better person because of it. I’ll continue to lose the weight and I may have a few more bad days but in the end, I have to learn to be pleased with ME at any weight. I believe I’m a beautiful person on the inside and that’s ultimately what matters the most :)

From Blonde to Black

Since the time we were first introduced to Destiny's Child until now, Beyonce has pretty much looked the same. The whole blond bombshell look was her signature look, but I know alot of people were wishing she'd reinvent herself. Not sure if the change came from the rave of Rihanna's highly requested coif and color at every salon in the world (lol) but I am glad Beyonce decided to switch it up. It's interesting, new and I really like the color on her. Unfortunately, I just dyed my hair two wks ago, so now everyone is gonna swear..."oh you dyed your hair to be like Beyonce!" No. I didn't know she dyed her hair until last night, people! After I cut my hair, people swore I was trying to be like Rihanna. I didn't even know who she was for real for real when I cut it! lol. Anyhoo, at the end of the day, be yourself---but don't be afraid to reinvent yourself ( if that makes sense). It keeps things interesting! I found this clip on YouTube. It's kinda funny(the clips and the fact that someone actually took the time to make the video! lol.

Just keeping it light before the weekend. Have a great one, guys! I know I will! :)

Real Talk: Korto Should Have Won Project Runway

A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Well, I'll let these speak for themselves....but let me just say this(lol)...ANY woman of ANY race could wear ANY of these pieces and feel amazing. If that's not an amazing designer, then what is? Leanne and Kenley both had some great pieces, but as Korto's line was so regal and beautiful or as Michael Kors put it, "complicated yet deceptively simple."

I know I wasn't supposed to talk this time, but, it's my blog! My heart was so broken for the designers who lost. There's only one winner, but my goodness, when Korto said her heart was bleeding, I believed her. Ugh.

The Bird and The Bee

It's Wednesday and I'm just now writing. Sorry.
So, I like this indie pop duo called The Bird and The Bee. I first heard them on the Sex and The City Soundtrack (the movie did the series no justice but the soundtrack was okay). "How Deep is Your Love" quickly became my fav. song on the sdtrk and I had to find out who this group was. Come to find out, they've been around with CDs for like...2 years. Glad my head is out the sand.

Dark and Lovely; Black and Beautiful pt1: Pride and (Non) Prejudice

[This is not a racist blog or a blog of sour grapes.and I don't think Obama is a snob! lol.]

Education is the ticket to success.

If you really think about it, you need to be educated in order to be successful. Now what type of education you get is another story. Not all education comes from the classroom. I think that LIFE has been my greatest teacher. I've learned so much through the places and people life has allowed me to encounter (through Christ of course. lol. )

Furthermore, I'm happy when I see all races do well in school but Blacks in particular. It may be because I am one and somewhat understand the struggle that alot of them go through but it does my heart good to see a Black man or woman graduate from college, or get a MBA, or get a respectable job....there are so many odds against them that when they make a conscious decision to take the other route, I'm happy for that.

That was the LONGEST disclaimer in blog history. With all that being said, it gets on my nerves when some (not all) Black people get some education and then want start acting brand-new and show out. The overcompensation is so telling of the insecurity they may feel but it's down right embarrassing to witness. I've met a few of those people since I've been here in Atlanta andwhen they talk, my face might say "Oh wow that's so interesting" when reality my mind is screaming "I'm not impressed. Stop showing out." It's so bad but I've seen it not just in Atl, but everywhere. I shouldn't know your whole resume after just saying hi to you....neither should the person that was not supposed to be in earshot of our conversation! It's rude.

I think that modesty is one of the most beautiful traits a person can have. I understand that it's a struggle to not be boastful about talents, accomplishments, experiences, etc. etc, but it's so beautiful to me when a person can be soooo amazing and not let it get to their head. I've looked at other races and you've got some of these boastful people all throughout. But when white people have money money, you don't really know. They invest it in stock, property or better yet, people. And when they do buy bags, the bags don't have GUCCI in 72 font all over their bag. Not to say that people who buy those things are trying to overcompensate, but hey, if the shoe fits!

Alot of times, people that don't care (like me) indulge these boastful people. In a way, indulgence says "it's okay to brag" and "please continue" but I wonder when it would be appropriate to let them know that it's incredibly impolite and ultimately makes them look bad. It's weird because in their minds, they're competing, and being worshipped, acting as the shining light of the free world on how wonderful and successful their lives TRULY are (if you have to state it, it's not true) and trying to lift themselves up more. In addition, the people they're boasting to can actually see that so in a way it would be mean to completely crush their man-made empire of greatness with a snide remark. But, something's gotta give. I've even heard church members brag about how much tithe their church brings into their conference!!!!! For real?!?!

I just wish people would get over themselves and their self-righteousness.

I Simply Remember My Favorite Things....

{WARNING:

If you've never seen The Sound of Music, this whole blog pun might go over your head!}

I have so much to be grateful for. Last week, God rebuked me through the preacher for living a defeated life in ways that I didn't realize I was. I find myself looking at material things to make me happy and I'm realizing that I have to learn to be happy and stress free where I am and look simply at Christ. But, I need some sort of stress reliever and tangible thing to look forward to. I guess "when the dog bites, when the bee stings,when I'm feeling sad, I simply [have to] remember my favorite things and then I won't feel so bad!" So here goes:

1. The Year of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs- This is the next book on my "To-Read" list. Basically, Jacobs is trying to live a life where he takes the Bible literally. So I'm really interested to see how that turned out! lol. I'm assuming it might be like Walden by Thoreau and as weird as this may sound, that book actually grew on me. I hated it at first but that dude is so deep! lol.
2. Lush Cosmetics- OMG! When I first encountered this store, I was in NYC at the corner of Broadway and somewhere else and I could smell the store from the outside. They make all their fun products and they use grapefruits, shea butter, lemons and all kinds of other natural resources to make their products...they're just kinda pricey! lol.
3. Lemons- I drink a 1/2 gallon(8 cups) of water a day. The $0.99 bottle from Wal-Mart makes it possible. The lemons help me make my goal. I tried limes but it tasted kinda strange!
4. Nike Cheer Shoes- I'm not a cheerleader but I bought the cheer shoes over the summer in MD and they're heaven to run in. Or in my case, ride the elliptical in. :(
5. South African ring- I've had my eye on that ring for quite some time now...I'm strong enough not to cave in just yet but I'm pretty sure it's calling my full govt name!
6. Diane Von Furstenburg wrap dress- Yes! The inventor of the wrap dress created the wrap dress of my dreams! Too bad it's like $600. When I'm rich, my justification for buying that dress would be that it's classic, timeless. It's like buying a dress for forever!
7. Jennifer Lopez Live Luxe-It smells great and I like how the bottle looks on my dresser.
8. The Women- I've gone to two theaters. I just missed the showing of one by a few minutes and one wasn't showing it at all. :( I can't wait to see it though. Hopefully I can see it tonight!
9. Soy Chai Lattes- My friend, Jazz put me on these. Now, I can't get enough. I bought the mix and put it with hot soy milk and cookies. tasty relaxer.
10. InStyle Magazine- I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! enough said.
11. BCBG Paris Hara Patent Slingback- I have them. I love them. They're neutral and go with almost anything.
12. Girlfriends Season 4- I think watching their crazy lives makes me feel better about my own! lol. Yikes! That sounds kinda bad, but I also like the show and the fashion. It's all so entertaining. Joan is crazy (cinco de mayo and christmas...whoa!).

That's it!

Can we NOT be so FREAKIN' biased????

(lol. My title sounded like Amber!) LOL.
Now, I love Obama just like "the next person". But there's alot of assumption that "the next person" is Black. I'm getting a little tired of people jumping on the "Obama '08" bandwagon simply because he's a Black man. This election is the most high-profile election that America has seen. Hollywood has played a very major role in influencing voters to vote for potential candidates and in those cases, I think it's great (it shouldn't have taken 4 more years of Bush for people to realize we needed change!...then again, Kerry wasn't neccessarily ready either).

With that being said, there has been ample opportunity(i.e. magazines, news, radio,politically obsessed friends) for people to see where John McCain stands on issues and where Barack Obama stands on issues and judge accordingly. I think it's inexcusable for someone who is of age to vote to have NO IDEA why they are voting for Barack beside the fact that he's Black.....

I've always loved Essence Magazine and preferred it over EBONY. Besides, EBONY is for the Black family while Essence is more for the Black woman. I feel like EBONY magazine is still in existence because of Black tradition not because it's good. I was never that hype on EBONY and in recent months, became more and more disgusted with what they've put on stands....but this issue tops the cake.

Linda Johnson Rice put out an editor's/president/CEO letter telling readers why they should vote for Barack. What?!?!?!?!? What about encouraging readers to exercise their political rights and vote for whomever they think is more qualified?

The purpose of a news publication such as a magazine is to inform readers of current issues , enlighten awareness on specific topics and ultimately inspire and motivate change. The only place where bias should arise is in an op-ed piece. Well, that's my understanding of it. But, essentially it's universally true. I think she completely missed the non-biased memo. How dare she put out an editor's statement telling readers that they should vote for Barack Obama? Why not present both sides? I don't care if that was her lame attempt at an op-ed piece. As the President/CEO, it shouldn't have been written. Did she ever think that she had Black Republican readers as well as Democrats? I wonder how many Black Republicans have supported EBONY Magazine in the past? If it's not alot (which I highly doubt) then there was no reason to put out a statement because Dems would vote anyway. I'm bothered by the fact that she used her seniority in a NEWS publication to endorse one candidate over another. She has every right to vote for Barack Obama and she has every right to freedom of speech. But, I would think that common sense and decency would tell her that she should remain as non-biased as possible, if not for anything else, the integrity of the magazine. If I were a Black Republican coming home from a long day of work who opened their mailbox and saw that sorry excuse of a magazine suscription chillin' in my mailbox, by golly, my Palin-lovin' tail would be pretty dern upset! I'm a Democrat and I'm livid.

I'm voting for Barack Obama and I think you should too.

However, this is personal blog.

Main difference: I can say whatever I want!!!!!!!

I think it's okay for EBONY to have Barack Obama ads because he paid for those. And it's completely appropriate to advertise what you're selling. But, if Glamour Magazine, TIME Magazine, People Magazine or any other popular magazines on stands had an editor-in-chief/CEO write a letter to readers saying that they should vote for John McCain, Blacks would have a fit!!! It's unfair and it's biased which is wrong!

I'm getting it all out so please continue to indulge me.

I am interested in the political debate between McCain/Palin and Obama/Biden. I've watched the debates, read the articles, encouraged others to vote and understand why I'm voting. Just because I don't have a Obama picture on my profile, or change facebook statuses every two minutes on my opinions on either camp, or scream in people's ear "VOTE FOR OBAMA OR DIE" does NOT mean I'm completely under a rock and "don't care about my civil responsibility". LOL! I have no problem with people who may want to be excited with the campaign and get involved and if they want to do all of the aforementioned, that's fine with me...except DON't come in my face with all this VOTE FOR OBAMA OR DIE foolishness.

I was having a conversation with a girl on Facebook about the campaign and Obama's ultimate hype man(by this time, I think we all have at least one in our lives) decided to invite himself into the convo and "school" us on why we should vote for Obama. He was condescending, unneccesary and ultimately he pissed me off( he wrote three paragraphs worth of wall posts! THE MOST!!!). When I asked where he was coming from ( I literally was confused) , he basically deleted my comments off his wall, wrote some RUDE comments on my wall dismissing me and saying that he wouldn't talk about the subject anymore....and then deleted them (because he didn't want OTHER people to get the wrong impression....what about me...your friend??does that ring a bell?) (and thought I didn't see them) . What was even more crazy was that he came in my inbox talking about it again? At that point, I was pretty through so I pretty much have ignored everything he's said since then. I don't have the mental strength to deal with people who have no respect for other people's right to an opinion especially in this high-engery election season.

I saw all of this to say...Im ready to vote and for Obama to be in the White House. I've seen a side of publications and people that I don't really like and am ready to move to place where an adult has the right to decide whether she'd like to watch Gossip Girl instead of the latest CNN updates without verbal cruxificion from members of her race! Or read a magazine without inappropriate bias towards a candidate ultimately leaving her wishing she could find the receipt and get her money back!

Thank you.