Dance

It doesn't take long before people learn that I love to dance. Dancing is a type of freedom with a feeling that should be almost unexplainable because it's just that ethereal. However, if I were to honestly describe the feeling of freedom when I dance, I'd say it's a freedom from anything people really think or what they have to say in critique or praise. It's a form of expression for me and it's really awkward to have people judge it to say it was good or bad simply because it comes from my heart. It's genuine and honest so there really is no good or bad to it, in my opinion.

I love to dance because it make me feel good. That freedom is a great feeling but I also feel like when I dance, I get to share another part of who I am. I love the sweat equity and the feeling that hard work brings after such a creative process. I really enjoy seeing a final product after hours and hours of long, intense practice. I also really enjoy seeing how my body adjusts and I improve on certain moves that at one point, I would never have been able to do without falling. I also love it because aside from the hard work to learn new moves, many moves just come naturally to me. I dance when I'm really happy about something especially really awesome food (greedy, I know) or a really good deal! ;-) I will literally do a jig in my seat in front of some really good food or over the stove, if I'm cooking it.

My first memories of developing a strong passion for dance started as a little girl in the living room of my parents' house. Billy and Sarah Gaines were a Christian duo that I danced to A LOT. Think a more edgier version of Bebe and Cece Winans or if Michael and Janet Jackson if they sang about Christ. I used to wait for everyone to clear out of the living room and I would LITERALLY dance my heart out. I'm not kidding. I would dance so hard that if someone walked in the room, I'd be embarrassed because I was SUPER into it and there was no way to play it off like, "Oh! I was just jogging in place!" No, ma'am. I was definitely doing the Running Man. This is too funny to even write about it because it was such a bizarre habit and shame on me! I still do it. Not as often as I used to but I still enjoy my solo dance parties.

So right now, I'll practice three times a week. I also practice with the group I am teaching praise dancing to. We meet once a week on a Sunday and it feels awesome. At the beginning of the year, I decided that I really wanted to grow as a dancer so I decided to enroll in dance lessons. The goal is to take both modern and tap dance lessons this year. I really want to get good at modern dance and I really want to at least BEGIN tap dance. I chose modern dance because the dancers are so incredibly graceful and it looks like something I could really be great at. While in undergrad, one modern dance gym class showed me that I would love really master it. I also chose tap dance because as a kid, once I was ready for church, I used to go downstairs by the door and pretend I was a tap dancer on the tile floor. I used to love the little Sesame Street tap dance "commercials" with Savion Glover and was hooked. I never took lessons though. Well, now is the time and I look forward to the experiences. Modern dance class starts next week! ;-)

Nothing Else Matters

Nothing else matters. Nothing in this world will do. Jesus you're the center and everything revolves around you. From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center. It's all about You. Yes, it's all about You. 

That song is one of my favorite worship songs to sing and listen to. Israel's music is incredibly beautiful. The words are simple and the music really sets the tone for worship. I really do want Jesus to be the center of it all in my life. From beginning to the end, it needs to always be Jesus. 

What does it look like to have a heart for Christ? I think that oftentimes, we believe that when we see someone worshipping, lifting their hands or expressing emotion during worship songs, that means they love God and have a heart that longs to please Him. It could be true but man looks at the outward appearance and God looks at the heart. I'm not judging anyone to say that their walk is determined by how well they praise God in public. I do believe that having a heart for Christ goes further than what you see in a public worship setting. 

Having a heart for Christ can be manifested in your thought life and your morals. Even though most people are aware of what a Bible is and how to get access to it, the most potent way to share the Bible is by living it out. It's easy to sing along with songs that prick your heart but it's harder to live out a life that reflects the conviction you've received about who God is and how you should live as a result of knowing Him. The world doesn't read Bibles. The world reads Christians. As a Christian, does your life reflect the heart of God? We are sinful human beings and we will mess up. Let's be clear. However, God grants mercy and while it shouldn't be taken for granted, it is imperative that we recognize our need for Him in order to live a life that is pleasing to Him. 

In the past, I've struggled with giving some guys the time of day because even though they may be in church, it's painfully apparent that there is not a interest in the things of God. Our heart's desire bleed through. If you have a heart's desire for basketball, tv, work, multiple women, status, etc., it will eventually show itself. It will show through your behavior, the conversation you keep and the friends you have. It's kind of ironic because even in the social media age, where everything is now public, people completely expose themselves through their online content. I've been in many conversations where people will suggest that their social media accounts don't accurately express the things they're interested in. I beg to differ. There are certain subjects you will never see discussed on my accounts simply because I will not entertain them. They are grossly ungodly and it's really difficult for me to give anything a platform that proclaims Satan as the leader. I do my best to lift up Christ. In addition to that, I won't put out certain comments on my various accounts simply because that's not where my head is at. When I listen to some of the songs that are out now, I literally have to google some of the words because of the way slang and vulgarity have continued to develop. 

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. 

Make sure your mouth reflects a heart that is desperate for Christ and filled by His love! 

Day #26 - Some more gratitude

I didn't take time out to do a post on Sabbath. Sabbath is still showing itself to be quite a challenge for me in terms of making time to sit down and write a post. By the time I got home last night, I was not thinking about any #my500words challenge. I now have to make sure I take care of days 17, 18, 19, and 25. Overall, 4 days missed out of 26 isn't the greatest but I'm pushing to finish strong and not give up! I'm really happy that I've kept up with the challenge for the most part. 

I'm going to do a recap of all the things I'm grateful for. It's been a long weekend and I'm tempted to complain. I'm trying to get in the habit of focusing on the roses in my life instead focusing on the thorns. 

1. I'm grateful for a car that takes me safely around and about. I've been driving a lot all weekend and I'm really thankful for the flexibility and blessing of my own car. I really don't want to take that for granted because I could be walking, stranded or stuck taking a bus. 

2. I'm grateful for the opportunity to minister in song this weekend. I've sung "I need you now" by Smokie Norful a billion times within the past couple months. Every time I sing it, it becomes more and more real to me how much I truly need God right now. I love how the songs I choose become my own personal testimony/reminder that God is able. It's like I'm encouraging myself in the Lord. 

3. Dance rehearsal was AWESOME today. The girls are continuing to come to rehearsal. I'm so thankful for that. There was a point when I was the only one showing up to rehearsal so I'm grateful I'm not alone anymore (praise the Lord for increase!!!). 

4. I'm also really happy that the ladies actually go home and practice their parts. As a result, they come back to rehearsal better than they were before. These ladies inspire me to be more committed in consistent as a leader. 

5. God placed a devotional thought on my heart to share with the ladies in rehearsal today and it was exactly what they needed to hear. It was so crazy how I had no clue that it would bless them in the way they needed it. I love how the Holy Spirit just works and allows us to be relational and connect with others in a way that can draw them closer to Christ. 

6. I also had promenade rehearsal on Saturday night. It's cool because I get to stretch myself as a dancer and a teacher. It's challenging and I like that. I want to improve as a teacher and a communicator. I believe that the dance ministry and the promenade allow me to push myself in those areas. 

7. I'm grateful that everyone who came to promenade rehearsal seemed to get the steps down. There were a few glitches here and there but it's practice. They're learning and retaining a lot of the information which I'm glad for. 

8. I'm grateful for a place to lay my head and call it a night. 

Good night! :-) 

Practice! Practice! Practice!

Practice-  a repeated exercise in or performance of an activity or skill so as to acquire or maintain proficiency in it. 

I really enjoy listening to really good audiobooks. Audiobooks are great because the information is still transferred but in a way that allows you to multi-task. Usually when I'm listening to audiobooks, I'm doing tasks that are pretty mundane like driving or doing chores. I'm currently listening to So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport and so far, it's been a pretty pleasurable listening experience. The book focuses on why skills trump passion in the quest to find work you can really love and enjoy. 

While folding and putting away laundry, I was listening to the audio. I learned about The Craftsman Mindset. The Craftsman Mindset focuses on what you can offer the world through your work. It also focuses on developing and perfecting whatever skill set you may have to offer. There were a couple examples of people who meticulously worked on their craft for hours upon hours upon hours a day. As a result, the product of all those hours of work resulted in a skill so good that it was impossible for it to be ignored. 

It's interesting because there are so many things that I would love to be better at but I don't love it enough or else I would put in the time and energy to perfect it. Doing this writing challenge is awesome because it's forcing me to do something I've always loved to do and do regularly but in a different way. As a result, it's helped to give me a fresher approach and outlook to the craft that I respect so much. The only way to get better at something is to learn more about it and practice it a ton. If you don't use it, you'll lose it. In the Elevation Church podcast that I listened to last night, I heard pro football player Steve Smith talk about feeling alone. When he got into that space of isolation, he would get his walkman and listen to music. While listening to music on the floor, he would practice catching. He would do this for hours and hours. Some might think that it was a completely mindless act that was worthless but now, anyone would beg to differ especially since he now plays in the NFL. My sister, Dionne spent a lot of time alone during one year in college. During that time, she used to watch YouTube videos of makeup tutorials. As a result of practicing everything she learned, she became really good at it and now people come to her (myself included) for how to figure out certain makeup looks. 

I've called 2014 my purple year. When I was a child, there was a year where I made a silly promise that I would kiss everything purple. If I couldn't kiss it with my mouth (because it was too far away or highly inappropriate), I would blow it a kiss. I've decided to implement a similar concept this year in that I will focus on "kissing" or becoming more intimate with the things that I really love and/or want to become better at. I want to become more creatively confident in what I produce (writing, dancing, singing, etc). I want to become more intimate and in sync with my creator, Jesus Christ. I lastly want to become more in tune with myself as a woman (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc). Every single thing that I mentioned takes PRACTICE. Some are at a different level than others but they all require a committed amount of daily practice. So far, so good. I must say! :-) 

Practice is highly underrated but highly profitable if implemented. 

What will you practice today?

Trying Too Hard

It was cold today and as the sun set, the temperatures continued to drop. I'm very grateful for working heat in my car. I drove home from a good day at work. One of the boys turned 2 years yesterday. The other boy couldn't get in my arms fast enough to say hello. I also had a happy reunion with a woman I'll affectionately call G-ma here on the blog. :) 

Even though the day was good, I was ready to get comfy in my pjs and get some writing done. Instead, I drove home with the mindset that I couldn't get comfortable. There was a load of laundry with my name on it that was in need of a visit to the laundromat. So, I went home, changed clothes, sorted clothes and within 20 minutes, was back out the door. I arrived at the laundromat and I was pleasantly surprised at how empty it was. So I put my clothes in the wash, put my headphones on, and listened to the latest podcast from Elevation Church. 

In this podcast, Steven Furtick, senior pastor interviewed Steve Smith, a pro football player from the Carolina Panthers football team. The main topic was passion. Within the first 5 minutes of the podcast, Furtick said something that just sat so well in my spirit and I could've shouted in the laundromat. He was explaining how much he loved people with passion. He noted how sometimes people will point out others who seem to "try too hard" and mock them for it. However, he defended those people who "try too hard". He said that he liked those people because at least they try. It's a lot better to try too hard than to not try at all. I can't tell you how many times I've felt like a loser for feeling that my ideas are "too much" or that I try too hard or I am "doing the most". When I'm excited about something, I do want to go all the way with it. At the same time, I want it to look effortless or as if I woke up and was naturally amazing at said skill. In reality, I know I have to work. I don't mind the work. I actually enjoy the work. However, I don't want it to look like work because I don't want to embarrassed or looked at as being totally pressed...even if I am. 

I love to write. There is a certain freedom that I feel when I write. I thorougly enjoy putting words together in a way that adequately conveys a message and adequately answers a question in someone else's heart. I agreed to do this #my500words challenge because I want to become better. I blog because I want to become better. I read because I want to become better. I try because I want to become better. It doesn't matter whether or not you "like" it or think I try too hard. I'd much rather try too hard than not try at all. I'd rather die giving it all I had than die not giving. 

If I'm going to live full and die empty, I'm going to have to try a few things in life. 

In life, it's probably best to try as hard as you can. 

If at first I don't succeed, try and try again. 

The Golden Rule

"Treat others how you would want to be treated"- What a perfect mantra to live by! 

There is a reason why that particular rule is considered golden.  It's so deeply rooted in love. 

No matter how sadistic a person may seem, at the core, we ALL want to be loved. We don't want to be merely tolerated. We want love, appreciation and kindness shown to us. It's interesting because we may WANT love but we don't necessarily go out of our way to give love. The Bible does note in Acts 20:35 that it is more blessed to give than to receive but does that truly transfer over when it comes to loving the people in your life? 

It can be easy to love people on the good days or when they've done something great for you. The challenge comes in when a person is inconsiderate, rude or downright hateful. Human nature usually kicks in, says that I can bypass loving that person. Additionally, I get a golden pass to return evil for evil. That's not the case though. 

I'm reading Steps to Christ by Ellen G. White with my church. One of my pastors creates these incredible study guides to go along with the chapters we're reading. I'm really enjoying it. One of the things I was reminded of in the Chapter 1 was that when Jesus was here on Earth, every word He spoke, even if it was a rebuke, OOZED (and continues to ooze) love. There were two thought-provoking testaments to the love Christ showed that I highlighted in my book. 

Thought #1: 

"Love, mercy, and compassion were revealed in every act of His life; His heart went out in tender sympathy to the children of men. He took man's nature, that He might reach man's wants. The poorest and humblest were not afraid to approach Him. Even little children were attracted to Him. They loved to climb upon His knees and gaze into the pensive face, benignant with love. - (SC 11.2)

It just seems natural to be afraid to approach someone who everyone sees as important. I'd be nervous to approach President Obama or any other former president for that matter. There are many famous and a few not-so-famous people that I'd be afraid to approach. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would be a little tense about running into Suge Knight in the grocery store. Mind you, it's not necessarily the air that the person projects. Sometimes, it's our own mental stronghold that keeps us from approaching others. At the same time, random kids aren't running and jumping in my lap! Lol! The only way to be that approachable is to learn to not only give love like Christ did but make a commitment to become like God because essentially, God is love. 

Thought #2: 

Jesus did not suppress one word of truth, but He uttered it always in love. He exercised the greatest tact and thoughtful, kind attention in His intercourse with the people. He was never rude, never needlessly spoke a severe word, never gave a needless pain to a sensitive soul. He did not censure human weakness. He spoke the truth, but always in love. 

 We are supposed to follow that example. I get annoyed with something and I feel like I have the right to be rude. Christ was NEVER rude. In my experience, it seems like in order to get things done with certain people, you HAVE to be rude or they'll trample all over you. I don't want to be anyone's doormat. However, if I want to be like Christ, Christ was NEVER rude. Eeek. Never rude?!?!?!?!?! Nope! He was NEVER rude! He never spoke a severe word. A severe word could be something as "harmless" as cracking a joke at someone's expense behind their back. If it's something you couldn't say to their face because you know it's hurtful, don't say it.

It all goes back to treating others how you would want them to treat you. After all, the golden rule, in it's finest hour, reveals love.

I Surrender All

"All to Jesus, I surrender.

All to Him I freely give. 

I will ever love and trust Him. 

In His presence, daily live. "

It's a song in most hymnals. It's a song called I Surrender All. I think that's becoming one of my favorite hymns. It's really resonating deeply in a different place for me. I've heard the song a billion times growing up in church and I've ALWAYS loved it but not as much as I do now. It's interesting how certain scriptures or songs can come alive to you in a different way once you're actually living it. I'm finding myself in a place where I have no choice but to surrender everything to God. It's a pretty humbling space to be in and it can be quite uncomfortable at times. However, I do see how God is moving in a special way. I'm beginning to see life's challenges through a different lens. It's no longer, "Why me?" as much as it's "God, how can I grow more like you through this?" I'm desperately searching to find how God can be glorified through everything I face. It's a different type of education. Now, I'm responsible for completing the study guides and homework so I can pass the tests but no teacher is standing over my back to get it done by a certain time. I do believe the God is sovereign and He holds time in His hands. Ultimately, since He's the author of time, His timing is always perfect. I also believe that God can design for us to stay in a certain place for a certain amount of time but based on our obedience or disobedience, we can make the stay a lot longer and more unpleasant than it needs to be. If you don't believe me, look at the children of Israel. A journey that should've taken a little less than 2 weeks ended up lasting 40 years. It sounds hard to fathom but how many of us have been disobedient to God more times than we'd like to count? God's grace is sufficient to cover all of our weaknesses. He can also make ALL (all meaning everything good and bad that we do) things beautiful in His time. I just want to make sure I do my part so I'm not stuck in a place longer than God has designed me to be. The only way I really believe I can do this is by making a commitment to surrender my will, my desires, my plans to God. I've seen a quote floating around the internet. It says, "Dear God, Help me to remember that your plans are better than my dreams. Amen." That prayer is so real to me. Admittedly, I can be so stubborn and stuck in what I believe is the right thing to do, that I won't really listen in to Christ and be open to the moving of the Holy Spirit. I must be flexible. I must be willing. I must be fully surrendered. Living for Christ and surrendering my all isn't something I can do halfway. The beauty of a full moon is that it is fully surrendered to illuminating the light of the Sun. Half moons aren't nearly as captivating as full moons. To be a full moon for Christ,  I must be committed to always myself away so He can use me. 

"I surrender all. I surrender all. All to thee my blessed Savior. I surrender ALL." 

Amen.