a spoonful of

so i've recently had my first "unfriending" experience (well, that i know of).
To "unfriend" someone means that you delete them from your Facebook friend list. to be honest, this is the first one that i'm actually aware of. it could've happened before and i didn't notice...*shrugs*

i write about this tonight because it's on my mind. i do take what people think of me into account because it's a different perspective that i need to be aware of. those who say that they don't care what people think in no way shape or form...well, i think they're the ones that care the most. lol. you can be care-free and not care what people think in certain aspects of life but not all. i have yet to see it and would honestly be intrigued to see such a person function.

*that was a slight digression*

now, the series of situations that led to the unfriending were things that should've left me doing the unfriending. i was the one done wrong. i'm tired of crazy people playing this ridiculous "reverse-psychology-and-i play-the-victim" card. sometimes, i feel that because i'm soft spoken, reserved, and a little passive, people take me for a punk. i channel all of my emotions into a quiet strength that's unbreakable by any oppressor's crocodile tears and shallow apologies. it's not that i don't know how to forgive. i have to know how to in order to move on personally. however, there is a part of me that figures out the person i'm dealing with and what to expect.then, when i make it clear that i'm not taking the crap dished out to me, it's either a shallow apology followed by an even greater offense, or a shock that i had the audacity to stand up for myself. this is the type of person i am: fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. if you show me who you are, i have no choice but to believe you. i think people get in trouble with me when they don't think before they speak. the words that naturally come out are just reflections of what's truly going on in the heart and trust me, i'm listening to every word.

God is love and love keeps no account of wrong doing. i understand that completely.in that concept, i'm still learning how to forget. i've been forgiving the people who've done me wrong.i didn't realize it until someone sent me a text asking me if i've forgiven people who've offended me in my past. i'd forgotten all about them, my hurt and anger in those situations and realized i'd moved on. it wasn't that i wanted to be buddy buddy with them but that pain that consumed me for so long, i no longer feel. it's freeing.

i also know to love my neighbor as i love myself. we think about the neighbor so much and forget that we need to love ourselves. we are precious cargo. if someone doesn't understand how to treat you, let them go. that doesn't mean throw them away but the Bible acknowledges the reality of friends and enemies. you love your enemies but you don't have to pour your life into them the way you would your friends. why would you?

i'm not sure if this is something i needed to write for someone else or if it was reassurance for myself. never allow anyone to speak to you or handle you in a way that is demeaning, dismissive, and disrespectful (haha alliteration-it's the english major in me) and call themselves your friend. calling someone your friend is a honor especially since Jesus is in that number. He's a friend that sticks closer than a brother. so the people in the "friend" group should be those that honor you, honor themselves, and honor and appreciate the beauty of positive and fruitful friendships.

at this point, i consider it a favor to be unfriended. unfriending me means that you've made it crystal clear that you're not capable of being a friend to me. life's too short to try and convince people how to treat you. i appreciate the honesty.
after all, it is the best policy.