The Fear of the Fly

This morning, I woke up late. I had a rehearsal that ended late last night, resulting in me taking too much time to sleep the next morning. I slept through the first half of my Spanish tutoring session and then I got a call. Contorting my voice to make it sound like I had been awake since 7am, I answered. It was my pageant director saying that she needed me to make an announcement in chapel regarding an oratorical contest. I had to be there ten minutes to 10 am. It was 9:23 when she called.

So I woke up and immediately began frantically searching my room for an outfit. I opened the door to check the weather. It was really windy...but I decided I had to look cute. Unable to find anything, I decided to get the shower and think about it while I showered. Upon exiting the shower, I haphazardly ran into a combination of jeans, a close-fitting red blouse and a navy blue blazer with cute white buttons and white trim (I found it while thrifting). I grabbed these vintage blue heels my grandmother gave me. Hair flipped and pinned with the vintage Farrah Fauscett look and I was ready to go! I went and did my little announcement at chapel (which I was on time for *THANK GOD*) and quickly rushed to class. I did it! I managed to look presentable in a matter of minutes and fulfill my pageant duties and make it to class. But...that's not it.

My look was cute if I do say so myself! :) However, when I walked around campus, the looks I got were "who does she think she is" and "what is she wearing?" Now I know I was cute and no one could tell me anything. I wasn't being cocky just confident. However, I knew the reason some people were looking at me crazy was because of that idea that I need to stay within a box that people are more familiar with. It's annoying for some people to see good change. It's intimidating to see people decide to step up their game and take a more aggressive approach in becoming the person they've always were but because of fear of success, suppressed it in order to fit in with everyone else' s expectations. Sheer foolishness! How dare I decide to rise above the norm of myself and decide to exude a more confident aura? I'm "wack" for that. But, who cares? At some point, you have to stop looking at people's critcism, smile, and keep it moving. Not everyone will like you and when you have a few enemies, alot of times, it means you're doing something right. Now, I'm not saying to transform into a person who is mean-spirited and the negative, stereotypical twin of a diva; but I am saying, RISE to your full potential! If your mind says that the bright yellow pinstripe suit would look amazing with those pink platforms, WEAR IT! Think outside the box. Be your own person. Be confident in YOU! Don't settle for the expectations people have for you and never allow the norm to keep you from succeeding! I'm not! :)

Marianne Williamson - Our Deepest Fear is that We Are Powerful Beyond Measure
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.