2000 Words Behind...

I am a couple days behind. I have 2000 words to play catch up on. I realize that the weekend is my kryptonite. I'm good during the week in terms of routine but once Friday hits, it's a wrap. In addition to that, I've had a 4 day weekend since today was MLK Jr. day. The day flew by. There's a winter storm brewing and we're supposed to get hit pretty badly here. I went to the store to purchase a ice scraper for my car and I saw a bunch of trucks and news cameras set up to do coverage on the winter storm. However, it really doesn't look like anything is potentially coming. Usually when it's about to snow, the sky has a weird cloudiness to it. Tonight, the sky seemed pretty clear. I don't know. We'll see. Another two days off from work would be pretty fantastic though. I can't lie. It would give me more time to work on my own to-do list. My to-do list seems to grow as time goes on. It never quite feels like everything is done. Mentally, it's a bit of a stressor. There is ALWAYS something to be done. I wonder if there will ever be a day when I'll sit down and think about how I finished EVERYTHING I needed to do. Or maybe I should just get to a place where I sit down and think about how it's okay that I didn't finish everything that I needed to do. I don't ever want to operate in a place of complete laziness. Maybe that's why I might feel like a bit of a failure when I look at my planner and only see 1 or 2 things checked off for the day. I don't know.

I am grateful for the gift of laughter. Right now, my sister is totally distracting me with reruns of The Office. My cousin used to tell me how hilarious the show was. She tried to convince me to watch it but I never really sat down and took the time to watch more than one episode. Man, have I been missing out? The show is really funny. The show is filled with a lot of awkward people and dry, sarcastic humor. Our favorite character is Dwight. He's super weird and he never ceases to amaze me with horribly inappropriate things he'll say next. I never turn on the tv when I'm by myself so if I'm watching The Office, it's because my sister turned it on. I'm not kidding when I say that it can easily take us an hour and a half just to get through one episode. We'll laugh really hard, pause the scene, laugh some more, rewind it, analyze it and then let it play. We do this with almost every scene. So you can imagine, I really haven't seen too many episodes. We'll even watch certain episodes over and over. There's one episode where Dunder-Mifflin (the company on the show) gets a commercial. There were so many hilarious moments including a jingle that my sister will not stop singing. All in all, The Office and an impending snow storm are my reality right now.

Good night! :-)

Gratitude

I remember a sermon my senior pastor shared a couple years ago about giving thanks and gratitude. It was the Sabbath right after Thanksgiving in 2011. That was an incredible message about cultivating a lifestyle of thanksgiving and gratitude for what God has done and is doing in our lives. Tonight, I'm going to focus on the things that excite me and things that I'm grateful for in this present moment. 

1. I am thankful to be alive. Life is truly a gift and the fact that I have a pulse is a sign that I am able to make things better for myself and for those around me. Service is the rent you pay for living. 

2. I am thankful for the wonderful invention of audiobooks. I was stuck in a little bit of traffic this evening which made the commute a little bit longer than usual. The audiobook I am currently listening really helped to make the commute a total breeze. The book I'm listening to is called So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport. 

3. I have a working car that can take me from Point A to Point B safely. I am very grateful and thankful for my car and I love it very much! 

4. My reading list so far is so incredible. I am really excited about one of the books I am reading called Steal Like An Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative by Austin Kleon. I am really enjoying the book and a lot of the information is more like a stimulant for my brain which is a good thing. I don't want to be stimulated by coffee :) 

5. God's hand of protection is constantly over me. God has been removing people from my life that are no good for me. And I'm grateful because some of these people are folk that I wouldn't have the strength to leave myself. So God is doing it for me. 

6. God put it in my heart to start a dance ministry and I have wonderful dancers! They are excited to dance and be a part of the team. In addition to that, I've been getting more and more ideas of how to create more of a familial environment so that my members can bond more with one another. I know it will happen with time but I just want to make sure I'm facilitating an environment that encourages that. 

7. I have the opportunity to serve as an Elder-in-training at my church. I really see it as an opportunity to grow and go deeper in my relationship with Christ. My mentor is so awesome and I'm excited to see what this year will bring with this new role. 

8. This challenge is forcing me to stick to something and really push through even on the days when I'm tired. I fell off the wagon over the weekend but I made sure that I did the catch-up posts so I wouldn't fall behind! 

Okay. That's it for now! I'm going to call it quits for tonight but I like this list. I'll do this from time to time as the challenge continues. 

The BEST Part of Waking Up...

Americans have been hoodwinked by advertising. For years, we have been told that the best part of waking up is Folger's in our cups. The Millennials took it a step further and made it super cool to have Starbucks in our cups. It's pretty scary to think about how addicted I once was to white chocolate mocha lattes. I needed one when I went into work that morning and depending on how bad the day was, I would get one at lunchtime. It was pretty crazy. I was hooked. I gave it all up a couple years ago after an amazing concert. The artist inspired in that concert to zone into Christ and find my energy in Him and not coffee. Random, I know but it's the truth. 

However, recently I've learned that the best part of waking up is a green smoothie in my cup! I'm going to have to go to the grocery store and get more green smoothie ingredients because I'm all out at this point. I have enough to make one more smoothie tomorrow morning and then it's back to the store I go. The awesome thing is that I bought all the ingredients and then separated the ingredients into their own freezer bag. So all I have to do in the morning is pull out a bag and pour the contents into the blender. While it blends, I go and make my bed. When I'm done, I have a delicious smoothie to drink for breakfast. It's so simple and nutritious. Incorporating this simple habit into my routine has really been encouraging me to keep searching for ways to tweak what I'm doing and step it up a little bit more. I know that breakfast is supposed to be the heaviest meal of the day so I'm wondering if I should save the green smoothie for the evening or do one in the morning and one at night? I've gotten so used to it in the morning and I really look forward to it. 

I also want to make sure I am drinking a whole lot more water. I make sure to carry water in my trunk so I'm never without it. I've tried to carry around the big 64 oz jug but that really felt crazy. I need my water in increments. 

I have had many people tell me that I looked as if I were getting smaller over the past couple months. When I got on the scale, I was 15 pounds lighter. I think it was a mix of chasing after kids/pushing a stroller and grazing. For months, I've been eating granola bars, applesauce, and little random healthy snacks that I can just have on the go. I also noticed that I wasn't eating a lot of bread at all. I've never been one to shy away from bread or pasta because I really like those foods. There is, however, a difference in the way my clothes fit and the fact that I haven't been living to eat. I've been so busy that it's been more of an "eat to live" situation. 

The Devotion that lasted all day

I love that God is so incredibly detailed when it comes to our lives.

He loves us so much it's overwhelming and we can't fully comprehend it. Last night, I really wanted to wake up during the 5am hour to get my devotion done and get a earlier start on the day. My alarm clock decides when it wants to work so it's not the most dependable source. I prayed and called it a night. Do you know God woke me up at 5:30 this morning?! I felt well rested and ready to get on into my devotion. It's almost as if God was saying, "Wake up, Dani! I really want to spend some time with you." That makes me feel kind of special. Little things like that make me feel like God really does pursue me and love me. Spending the time with Him at an earlier time felt even more intimate than usual. It really really was awesome and set the tone for the rest of my day. It was crazy because I got stuck in HORRIBLE traffic on I-495 this morning. There was a really bad accident. I really hoped no one died. The unexpected traffic turned 495 into a parking lot. I am not exaggerating. What is usually a 45 minute commute took me two hours this morning. The crazy thing was that I continued to have worship in the car.

I've been listening to Anthony Brown & Group TherAPy a lot lately after seeing them in an INCREDIBLE concert at Brinklow SDA a couple months back. So, I had "Do It Again" and "Deep Enough" on repeat. After a while, I listened to an awesome podcast by Heather Lindsey. Heather Lindsey and her husband, Cornelius are a dynamic duo located in Atlanta, Ga. Cornelius is the pastor of The Gathering Oasis church in ATL and Heather leads the Pinky Promise Movement. I really like their ministry and look forward to meeting them in a few weeks when they come to the area to preach! I'm really excited about that! I was almost finished with Heather's podcast when I finally pulled up at the job. The kids were so happy to finally see me and even though they can't formulate too many words yet, I could tell they were wondering where I was and what took me so long so that I could pick them up. haha. I'm thankful for a boss who is more concerned that I get to work safely and couldn't care less about the traffic. Can I just say, "Hallelujah!" I'm definitely not on pins and needles at work. While the kids were playing with one another, I kept an eye on them as I sat in the kitchen, ate my lunch and continued my devotion. I just keep trying to steal a little bit more time in reading. I was in Romans 4 where Abraham believed God at His word. I want to believe God. A couple days ago, I talked about my knowledge that He loves me and cares for my every need and concern. I just want to truly believe it with my heart. I guess you could say it was one of those "I believe! Help my unbelief" situations.

I am a work in progress. He's (thankfully) not finished with me yet. 

Day #12: Caught-Up

I've been playing catch up for the past two posts so now I'm on the post for today- day #12. I actually enjoyed sleeping in today. I slept in until 8 this morning and then I stayed in bed for another 2 hours. It felt great! I was supposed to have a meeting at 9:30 this morning at church but it ended up being cancelled. I still went to the church for dance rehearsal which started at 1pm. 

Can I just say that dance rehearsal was awesome?!? I'm super excited! It was such a great reunion and rehearsal. I hadn't seen all the dancers in one place in a while. We also have two new dancers. One dancer wasn't able to make it today but the other dancer came and she was so good! I was really happy because we were able to open up with a great devotion which really spoke to us in a way I really couldn't have planned. Afterwards, we stretched and then got started learning the moves. I'm really excited about this group. The girls that I have are committed and I know that they will do an incredible job! 

Our first opportunity to minister at our church will be at the end of March. I decided to take things up a couple of notches this go round with the choreography. Last time, the choreography was pretty simple but that was just to get a good introduction. It was also so that I could get a good gauge for where each dancer's skill was at. Now, they know what to expect from me. I know what they're capable of and I will push them to better! I can be a teeny tiny bit of a drill sergeant when it comes to the details. I'll go over a certain part over and over and over again until they get it right. I'm not mean and ruthless though. I know when to quit. Needless to say, I am pumped and the girls know that we are officially in work mode. 

One of the things I will be pushing for also is consistency. We only performed once as a group last year. The other two times the church saw a dance ministry was from me as a solo. At first, I was REALLY against the idea of doing a praise dance solo. I really really didn't want to do it. Now that I've done it twice, I can how I don't mind getting on us a regular schedule so that we have more than one performance for each season. Our downfall was the summertime/fall back-to-school time. So, if that were to happen this year, I'd at least be more comfortable doing a solo dance until the girls are ready to go again. I think it's important to see praise & worship in different forms beside singing especially since Heaven is going to be a place of celebration. I can't imagine standing in Heaven and not jumping, leaping, and twirling for joy at the fact that I made it. Then add the factor of wings into the picture. You can forget it. Can you imagine the choreography I could do with wings? Lol! Ok. Let me not get carried away. It was a great day and I'm happy about it. :) 

Day #11 Catch-Up

Day #11 was the Sabbath. I promise you the Sabbath went by soooo quickly. It's been doing that lately. It's really crazy. Then again, my days seem to be going pretty quickly as well. The fact that the sun sets earlier in the wintertime doesn't really help things.

So, on this particular day, I went to my home church. I was scheduled to sing on the praise team. When I was getting ready that particular morning, I decided to switch things up a bit and instead of wearing my "twist and tuck" low bun, I decided to do a high bun. I really do want to be better about switching up the way I do my hair. I always do the same thing because it's an easy protective style. As soon as I walked into church, one of the ushers immediately noted my new hairstyle. She was an usher that I don't usually get a chance to have conversation with so when this happened, it threw me off for a second like, "man! is it that noticeable?" haha. whatever.

It was my first Sabbath not singing with Metro Praiz (sad face). I was scheduled for praise team that Sabbath so it was so weird to see everyone getting robes and I wasn't getting one too. Closer to the end of last year, I decided to leave Metro Praiz so that I could really dig my heels into REALM. Even though I still really want to sing in the choir, I just don't have any more energy for choir rehearsals. To expect to show up and sing the day of as never been my style and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it now. I was missing tons of rehearsals leading up to the Metro Praiz concerts because of things going on at home. With the combination of family issues and the involvement I already have in church, I decided that I was going to have to start cutting some things. I reasoned that Metro Praiz has an abundance of altos so even though I enjoy singing with them, there's no dire need for altos. There is a need for consistent people on praise team and those rehearsals are once a month, so I can definitely agree to something like that. Besides, I can't cut out ALL the music in my life. That woudn't be cool! So whenever MP sings, I'll just sing from my seat in support.

I did get to sing praise team and that was cool. It was my first time singing under our leader, Michael. He is one of the new praise and worship leaders at my church and everytime he lead out, I was usually in children's church so I never experienced him as a leader. He was great. I really admire the talents & gifts of my minister of music and the praise team leaders. Leading the church in worship is not an easy task. As a worship leader, you have the ability to set the tone of the service. It's so vital that whoever is leading is in direct connection with the Holy Spirit because you never know what burdens people are coming to church with. A testimony in song could be the very thing to get them through the next week. So it's a challenging task that I applaud them for and I'm happy that I can serve as support to help lead the congregation in worship. It's a blessing.

Day #10 Catchup

I'm so disappointed because I missed both Friday and Saturday posts for the challenge. Even though I was really tired, I should've scheduled it in. I've been waiting until 11 pm to remember to do the posts. On both nights, 11 pm came and went and it was completely out of my mind.

Friday was an interesting day. One of my closest sister friends was driving through Maryland to get to Atlanta. Actually, this friend was the same one who designed the graphic at the top of this blog. Anyway, she came Thursday night and left on Friday morning. We were having a conversation on Friday morning about life, purpose and how God's love ties into all of it. It's interesting because even though I know God loves me and have heard it a billion times in songs, scriptures and in church, there is still a large portion of me that hasn't fully received that in my heart as fact. There is the underlying belief that God is ready to condemn me based on what I'm not doing right. I feel like everything I have is a result of God being nice to me but He doesn't always have to be nice. So I should just learn to accept the good that comes and expect the bad because I'm a sinner so I deserve any evil that comes my way. When we really took the time to break down what we believed, it was heartbreaking and pretty sobering. Crazy thing is that I also treat God like a genie. If I rub God the right way, He'll give me everything that I want. If I read my Bible, pray, love and serve, then I should be able to get everything I want. NO! NO! NO!!! This is the way that I try to control God. It sounds awful. I know. I'm not doing it on purpose. I don't know if that makes it any better though.

Reading my Bible, praying, loving and serving are natural habits of someone who loves God and is committed to Him. It's hard to understand how God loves fully and it may always be hard. However, I want to make sure that my love is sincere and true. I never want to give expecting something in return. I want to give from a place that is grateful and really desires to make God happy. It sounds corny, but I really do want to make God smile. I want to be pleasing in His sight. I don't want to run on autopilot in any part of my relationship with Him. There are so many times when my prayers say the same thing. How would you feel if when you talked to someone,  they always came with the same conversation? Things will get stale pretty fast. It's important to talk about other things in conversation. Reciting the "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food we eat. Amen." prayers only work for so long. There have been plenty of times where my prayers were stuck on autopilot to the point where I would wonder if I had prayed that day. Yes, I probably did but it was a mindless prayer. Mindless conversations benefit no one. Mindlessly asking God for safe traveling mercies on the road isn't cool. If anything, God's mercy in spite of me is what keeps me safe on the road.

Maybe I'm looking too deep into it...

nah. I'm not.

time to do better. period.