A Woman's Work

In a way, I guess you could say I kinda suck in terms of the art of conversation. I like to listen to people a lot more than I like to talk. And that could be seen as a good thing (active listening) but I'm one of those slow people who has to sit and really think about how I feel before I open my mouth....most times *smile*. But, while talking to a friend about the job market, she explained that while she's ready to go back to school and get another degree to get into another field, she's going to give that up when her man comes into the picture because he will be the provider. 

So, I hadn't completely grasped the fact that in the time that she had gotten her man, she had quit her job and became a homemaker. And her basis for this: because the Bible says so.  

Surprised by this, I repeated what she said to make sure I

 heard right and asked her for some support for this decision. 

She went on to say that it was Biblical because the man is supposed to provide and that the woman is supposed to be the homemaker. 

She quickly stated that she would pay the bills....with her man's money. She made up her mind that after she's married, she's "not fitna pay no bills". 

I respect her honesty but I don't understand her decision. 

In our haste to get back to I-85, our attention was diverted back to the road but, I wondered...after all the degrees and all the years, money spent, all the sacrifice, and the hard work, why wouldn't a woman want to find a career that was fulfilling? Furthermore, why wouldn't a woman feel obligated to work alongside her man outside of the home?

As we rode in the car, I thought about the many times I've heard women say that. Whether they were deep in their careers or  sitting in English classes, there are women who truly believe that women (as a whole) were not built or meant to work hard. They go back to the age-old concept of women being nurturers. 

I think that it's beautiful to be a stay-at-home mom and raise children. I think it's a woman's job to be nurturing.I look at Michelle Obama and she's the epitome of the perfect balance.  But before the time comes when children are in the picture, why should it be the man's obligation to put a roof over my head while I sit there? 

It doesn't seem 50/50 to me. If it's just the two of us, it's not like a crazy amount of work will be left to do around the house every single day. I don't consider myself a feminist completely but I just don't see how it could be fulfilling. 

Going out and getting a job feels/is responsible and while it doesn't make you more important, having a job does place new responsibilities that charge you to grow in your personal mindset, work ethic, and character. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes with getting into something where you can see results and unless you're a chef or in the fashion industry, the results I'm talking about don't include a homemade lasagna or freshly starched trousers. 

God made Eve as the "helpmeet" for Adam(Genesis 2:18). I take it as Eve needed to help meet Adam halfway. Both sides need to work together. Ed and Lisa Hartwell (Atlanta Housewives) were a team. I loved that. Lisa didn't seem to feel entitled to sit down because she was married to a professional athlete. She still had goals and together they worked as a team. Not to say that every couple needs to be like them, please believe. But, I do think there needs to be a balance so that one side is completely carrying the other. 

It's only fair.